Protest Unfair Traditions

31 Jan 1971.  Believe me, I was at last getting married!

Just before the wedding, one of the customs considers the bridegroom as Lord Vishnu. Thus, the bride’s father welcomes the son-in-law on his arrival as if he were Lord Vishnu.  So was I. In addition to a wonderful life-time companion, I was offered a suit and a gold chain etc as gifts!  Great!

But just before that, the father-in-law offers pooja and prayers to the son-in-law and in the process he washes the son-in-law’s feet, wipes them, applies Kumkum chandan, tilak, etc to his feet. Basically, prays him literally like he was God.

There comes the problem and the dilemma.  On the one hand, you are taught to regard your wife’s father like he was your own father and at the same time, you make him wash your feet?

Would you ever allow your father to touch and wash your feet?  No, certainly not. Then how could I accept that my father-in-law would wash my feet?  Never.  It is possible it was a good old tradition and there was a reason for it to be included in the ceremonies. But, it did not appear logical to me.

I rebelled against this system. I just couldn’t allow my father-in-law to wash my feet.  Senior members of my family protested, even though my dad appreciated the gesture. The protest was natural as I was trying to break an age-old system. I was firm and every one ultimately had to agree.

This system was deleted from our family for all the subsequent weddings till date. Deleted once and for all!

My belief is that wherever the system does not appear to be fair, check whether your conscience permits to continue with what you are being asked to do.

 

Written: Badri Baldawa                                                                           Edited: Meeta Kabra

This entry was posted in Biography, Family, Joint Family, Morals, Parent Category, Traditions, Wedding and tagged by badri. Bookmark the permalink.

About badri

As I approached 68 (2013), my son, Anand insisted that I had proven enough in my 45-year long career and it was time I took life a little easier; enjoy traveling (that I love) and social life. Yet, I somehow wanted to contribute positively and was exploring my options. My son-in-law, Navin suggested that I should write and share my experiences, “being a self-made man, you should tell the next generation how you overcame various obstacles to reach this position, in both, business and social circles.” He pointed out that while I was sharing my experiences with family and friends, as they approached me, a blog had the potential to take your voice to many, many more. He also insisted that I start mentoring youngsters who were new in their businesses. I was convinced. I offered my services pro bono, as part of a Guidance Program. Also, I started writing on this blog, bringing out figments from my memory as experiences that might be of value to the readers here. My daughter Meeta is sweet enough to spare her time to edit what I write. As a youngster, I thought one meal a day, one set of school uniform a year, a public place to study, lack of finance and basic shelter would keep me from achieving my dreams. To compensate, I started giving 110% of what was normally expected. Yes, 110% even in bad deeds! This worked. The very limitations started inspiring me in different phases of my life – meritorious results in studies; strength to shoulder family responsibilities; satisfied employers; establishing a successful business of my own; and in my adventure trips and other travel plans. Having done what I wanted to, I agreed it was time for me to expose myself! I felt, through this blog, I could and should share my expereinces. Hopefully, readers would find some bits useful and if not, they’d enjoy reading. Look forward to interact with you. Happy Reading, Badri Baldawa

5 thoughts on “Protest Unfair Traditions

  1. Very nice. In a joint family someone have to take the initiative to STOP all such type of old tradition, which No one Knows How and Why such type of customs came in Existence/tradition. Very Nice and appreciable BOLD step particularly when it was taken about 40/45 years back.

  2. Nice blog…… must appreciate you ?? that’s 1 of the rituals in our system I really don’t like…. bravo …. you did a gr8 work????

    P…M…

  3. If u would have give some more examples in the blog den it would be more interesting…but it is a gud blog…

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