Road to London # 8 – The Influential Hidden Character

In continuation of earlier blog RTL # 7 – The Route Across India

It is not the first time that she influenced me to take on an adventure. She has supported all my crazy endeavours. She may not initiate the trips. But if I proposed one, she would be enthusiastic about the tour, even for the most complicated and risky ones.  Pushpa, the wife, is not my better half, she is the first half!

In fact, she just might be better qualified to undertake adventure and risky trips. She takes over the gadgetry, which I have never understood.  It is a family joke, particularly by Anand, that it is  because of her I can handle my mobile.

Pushpa Sliding on Australian Sand Dunes 2011

She maintains her cool during testing times of the tours. She accepts that adventure trips have inbuilt calculated risks.  There were times when we had no shelter, but she had no problems. No food, it hardly made a difference to her. She has understood and adjusted to the whatever the situation has demanded.   There have been occasions in our trips together when we had no water to drink, but she didn’t complain.  She prefers tap water to bottled, mineral water wherever she is.  You and I fall ill, not her!

Once when we were in Tibet, our vehicle stalled in a murky place.  It was the dark hour of midnight.   There were no villages for 20 kilometers in any direction. The temperature was minus 10-15 degrees Celsius. And there was a slight drizzle. Every drop of rain felt like a needle piercing your skin.  Boots were getting stuck in mud with every step. And here she was helping me push the vehicle out of the muck.   Ultimately,  we had to walk cold and wet for about a km, in complete darkness. We rested in a road side godown (if we could call it that!) where even a beast would be scared.  The place had a strong stink. It was badly maintained alcohol den, full of beer and was scattered with used cans and bottles.  She has never tasted onion or garlic, let alone alcohol.  But she didn’t even wrinkle her nose when she had to lie down there for a couple of hours of much needed rest.

And oh! That place was owned by a man in his 80s or so. He looked like he was straight out of a western movie, a cowboy, only with horrible, excessive make-up.  He had a spear in his left hand, instead of a gun. Long salt-and-pepper hair and beard – probably unwashed for a long time. He covered it with a cowboy hat.   He was probably wearing new clothes, only that they were bought years ago. His face showed his age in wrinkles. He had extra skin hanging from his cheeks, large red eyes set just above them. Sharp long grey eye-brows.  The place had no lights, it was almost all dark. Just a small dim lamp gave the scene a horror movie feel.  I was outside, in that freezing rain with a driver-guide to see if the car could get on the road. When I returned, the face of the owner, with extra wide eyes, was almost a foot from Pushpa’s face. She was speechless. I dropped in and engaged our host in slow motion, sign language. Pushpa did not complain even about that day ever.

The moment I ask her opinion about a trip, she always has a positive answer. To the extent that some times I take her for granted and forget to even take her consent. Ghar ki murgi daal barabar!

Once in 2012, on a flight to London I mentioned to her that I wanted to drive one day from home to London. She just replied with a “hmmm”, that too forcibly, knowing that it was one of those improbable dreams. However, I knew it is not unachievable, particularly since she would be with me.  She used to drive way back in the 80s when we lived in the Middle East.Quad Driving in Tangalooma Island 2011 With Pushpa as Co-driver

 

A few months ago, she was travelling elsewhere, I called her, “we have a chance to drive to London. Are you interested?”  Her reply was the as quickest as it can be “Grab it”.  It is all through now to make the dream come true.   She is not my better half, she my best half,  Pushpa!  I am really lucky to have such a lady as my companion for these exotic journeys.  She would be my co-driver for “Road To London”!

Written : Badri Baldawa

Edited : Meeta Kabra

                                                                                                To be continued …………………

How Reliable is Horoscope Compatibility For Wedding

My dad’s older brother called, “we have reference for a boy from a well-reputed family in Sangli-Madhavnagar.  Bhageerathi’s horoscope matches his, 35 out of the maximum possible 36 aspects (gunas) match.” Bhageerathi was my most beloved younger sister.

The practice of matching horoscope, called ‘kundli milan’,  before marriage has been a very integral part of a Hindu marriage.

For kundlis (horoscopes) to match, parents consult an astrologer to assess the zodiac compatibility even before the boy and girl meet each other.  A match of atleast 26 aspects/points is considered essential.  It is believed, that this matching indicates how well the couple would get along together.  Obviously therefore, higher the match count, better and longer are prospects of their happy lives together.

We were all very happy to have found a boy to match 35 out of 36 counts for Bhageerathi. Shortly thereafter, in 1963, they were married.  About 2-3 years into the marriage, they were blessed with a daughter.  The year after, Bhageerathi passed away in an accident.

This raises a question.  Can the tradition of matching horoscopes be trusted?

Sure, in Hindu families reading horoscopes and making decisions based on the radings is a respected and accepted practice. However, the accuracy of the reading depends on exact time of birth. For any reason, if the time of birth is not accurately recorded, the entire horoscope could be incorrect.  Further, it is after all an individual who interprets the horoscope.  The reading depends on the depth of knowledge of the person preparing and interpreting it.

Certainly something had gone wrong in matching Bhageerathi’s horoscope.  Otherwise would she not be able to enjoy a long, married life after a match count of 35 out of 36?

There were instances where a boy and a girl liked and loved each other immensely.  When they were to get married, their horoscopes did not match and they were forced to forget each other. There were cases where priority was given to horoscope compatibility rather than personalities. Isn’t it unfair?

Should we deprive those who love each other just because of horoscope readings? Should this tradition be encouraged?  Certainly not…………I feel.

Written : Badri Baldawa

Edited  : Meeta Kabra

 

The Rich Indian Culture

I was outside Athens Railway Station, Greece.  My wife and I were  waiting for our one of our family friends, to pick us up. This was in 1983.

Just then, a 25-30 year old youngster from Netherlands approached us to check whether we need a hotel room.  I said ‘no’.  But, he prolonged the chat.

He: Why sir? Won’t you need a room to stay?

Me: We will be staying with a friend and are waiting for him to pick us up.  Where are you from?

He:  I am from Netherlands.  I just completed my studies.  I have been wandering the world for the last 3-4 years to experience and understand people and places. I earn money by providing services to tourists in the cities I visit. As soon as I earn adequate money, I visit my next  destination.

He continued:  Are you from India?

Me: Yes.  What do you know about India?  (At that time, India was not very well known  to people in Europe)

He: I love Indians more than any one else in the world. I take two vacations every year.  Out of the two, I ensure that I visit India at least once.

He then named about 20-25 small towns from all over India, particularly from Tamilnadu, Andhra Pradesh and West Bengal that he had visited. He then told us in detail how well the Indians treated him in the small villages and farms on his visit.

Me:  What do you think is the difference between the culture in India and Europe?

He: Pardon Sir ……. , probably I heard you wrong?

Me: In your opinion what is the difference in the culture between India and your country?

He then said: I heard that Sir, but your question is wrong, Sir.   You have an unbelievable rich culture.   When I went to any of the places including towns and villages, even the poorest of poor, whether farmers or petty shop owner, ensured that the food and shelter requirements of the visitors are taken care before they care for their own.  Here, even if a daughter takes a rose flower to her mother’s birthday, she collects the dollar, the cost of the flower.

There is nothing of such culture that exists in Europe.   Comparison can be only if it exists at both the places.  In this case, culture does not exist at all in our region.  Hence there cannot be any comparison.”

Every courtesy we extent to our guests makes our country and culture, more respectable and memorable.  Let us keep it up!
Experienced and Written By: Badri Baldawa
Edited By : Meeta Kabra

It’s All About The Attitude

“The one who does not make a mistake is God. The one who makes mistakes and realises the mistake, is human God” meant the shop keeper Kewalbhai, when he said in Hindi “Jo bhool nahin karta wah Bhagawan hai.  Jo Bhool karke maan leta hai bhagwan jaisa insaan hai”.

I was with my best friend Kishore Bhatia and his wife Neelu in Rishikesh on 27 March 2015, a place I love to visit for a peaceful and pollution free break.  We observed that the shop owners in the area around Geeta Bhavan lacked courtesy.

In one of the shops, Kishore asked for a blue shirt.  He did not like the shade that was shown to him and Neelu requested if she could see some other colours.  This supposedly was reason enough for the shopkeeper to be upset.

He argued that he did not show other colours because he was asked for blue. He spoke in a manner that made it seem like Kishore had committed a crime by asking for a colour of his liking.  He then went on to practically throw a few shirts before Neelu whereas he could have politely shown the other shades.  I did not like the shop keeper’s attitude.  I got into an argument with the shop keeper for his behavior, making me lose my peace of mind.

That evening, as we calmed down like the surface of the river in front of us, we analysed the incident. We realised that though the shopkeeper’s attitude was not right, we weren’t right either. By getting into an argument for someone else’s mistake and improper attitude, I created an adverse impact on me.

Next day, I went to the shop-keeper and said “I feel bad that I had an argument with you yesterday.  Let us not discuss who was at fault. Let us forget that incident as I have realised that the arguments could have been easily avoided.”

He got up from his chair as if an electric shock passed through his chair.  He held my hand and apologized for his attitude the previous day.

Jo bhool nahin karta wah Bhagawan hai.  Jo Bhool karke maan leta hai bhagwan jaisa insaan hai” said the shop keeper Kewalbhai.  (The one who does not commit mistakes is God.  The one who does a mistake and realises it, is a human God).  He started praising me as he held my hands firmly for quite a few minutes.

He further said, “You are a good human being. I want to give you something”. I was relieved and happy.  I wondered whether he would extend a gift from his shop!    Instead, he gave me a gift of his sincerity.  He gave me a printed card and said “if you ever have a problem with your teeth, touch the problematic tooth with your finger and chant the mantra written on the card just once.  You will be relieved immediately.  He similarly gave tips for other problems.

He asked me to join my palms together so that he could read my hands.  Two corresponding lines, one  one each palm, formed a curve like a half moon.  Next, he checked the levels two prominent lines on my two little fingers.

The levels didn’t match; there was a difference of about 1 to 2mm.  The shop keeper said, “ just now, you have an upset stomach.  You don’t have proper appetite either.”  Sure enough, he was right. I had a mild stomach ache.

He took out a black cotton thread, chanted a mantra mentally and tied five knots.  He looked at my face and added another two.   This time when I held my palms next to each other, all three lines matched perfectly.  The difference had gone!   Suddenly my stomach ache disappeared too and I felt normal.

I wondered why I argued with such a helpful and talented gentleman.  Had I controlled myself for a minute, I would not have harmed my peace of mind.

This incident taught me once again: “I have a particular attitude towards life, others have their own.  If I understand this, I can protect my peace of mind.”

Author: Badri Baldawa

Editor  : Meeta Kabra

Lessons Learnt From Those Trees

A few months ago, I was in Yosemite Valle, California, USA .   This is a huge forest with 800 miles in hiking trails. The Sequoia family of trees with their huge trunks draw special attention of the visitors.  The tallest tree is 285 feet in height.

As I looked around I felt, each of these trees have meaningful lessons to teach.

Wewona Tree

Wawona Giant Sequoia

One of the trees, Wawona giant sequoia is 210 feet tall, 92 feet in circumference with a diameter of 30 feet.   As you can see in the image, the tree fell down from its roots. This happened in 1969 and it is still lying there as the wood is resistant to decay. It is as good as dead, but so what?  While living, it succeeded in maintaining its world record.  Therefore even after death, it is a darling of everyone  who passes it by.   In fact, the authorities allow visitors to play around and hug this eternally sleeping tree.

These giant sequoia trees understand that to survive, it is very important to share and live together as a society.  They are aware that for survival, every tree needs water and nutrients which is why they grow very close to one another.   They permit the roots of one giant sequoia to fuse with the roots of another. This underground activity enables the giant trees not only to survive in close proximity to each other but live together with equal rights.

In fact there is a set of two trees called “Faithful Couple” who believe to share every thing

Faithful Couple

Faithful Couple

with the partner. They are so  close to each other that one side of their trunks is almost like a common wall of the two trunks.   They respect the presence of the neighbour. They demonstrate their ability to share the components for survival such as water, sunlight and nutrients like a true couple. They believe in togetherness in pleasure and sorrow,  “sukh-dukh mein saath saath

California Tunnel

California Tunnel

There is a tree called California Tunnel, one of the two living trees in the area.  The tree in the dense jungle does not hesitate to permit the people to pass through its tummy.  A large cavity in the huge trunk is wide enough to let a SUV pass through it. Convenience to others is more important to the tree than its own inconvenience.   Similarly there is a tree called Clothspin which has a tunnel in its body as big as 40ft in height.

At one site, there are 3 sequoia trees together named 3 Graces. Their roots are inter-mingled. Research confirms that they survive together and if they were to fall, they would fall together.  Together they live and together they would die.  “jiyenge saath saath, marenge saath saath

Writer  : Badri Baldawa

Editor  : Meeta Kabra

I Almost Gave Up My Childhood Dream, But ……

My target was trekking to the Mt Everest base camp.  It was the sixth day of an 18-day expedition. I was on my way to Dabuche.   Instead of the norm of going with a group of 8-10 people, I decided to experience the journey by myself, with a sherpa to help and guide me.

I had already had enough of the bitter cold. I was weak from a day’s worth of upset stomach to go with the steep climbs.  I had seen injured people being carried back and heard of quite a few who were being flown back due to severe altitude sickness. Along the way. I had seen too many bodies of trekkers who died in their attempt to complete the trek.

I almost gave up.

Usually, trekkers from both directions assemble in the evening at the dining area of tea shops at their night halt points.  Most people prefer to hang around closer to kitchen ovens because it is slightly warmer compared to the sleeping cabins.

Keep Climbing

Keep Climbing

At the end of that day, I was too tired and feeling depressed.  That evening, I heard terrible stories about the trekkers who had gone ahead. I was scared, worried and tense.  For the first time in the trip, I wondered seriously why I had left the comforts of home food, bathing and toilet luxuries, my own bedroom with controlled temperature and the great evening walks with my wife. Doubts started creeping in.

Things were likely to be tougher since the path ahead was more isolated.  Maybe, it was wrong to have come for such a tough trek.  I thought it wasn’t too late to go back home instead of facing the risk ahead. I considered telling the sherpa that we ought to return.  But I could wait till the morning.

I wasn’t hungry, I just had a bowl of soup with bread and stretched for a while on the bed.  It was already dark.  I felt slightly relaxed and positive.  I picked up the torch which was always handy.  I looked for the folder with the travel documents.  In the folder, I found two sheets of printed stuff.  I had carried with me some of the interesting and encouraging messages sent by friends and family, before I left.  I put on my glasses, held the torch in one hand and started reading them.  Each of the messages made my nerves tingle with positivity.

  • “you are an inspiration”,
  • “you are different”,
  • “with your energy, you can give people half of your age a run for their money”,
  • “nothing is impossible for you”,
  • “you convert ideas into realities”,
  • “you convert hopes into accomplishments”,
  • “You overcome fear into self confidence”,
  • “You are definitely one of those handful few”,
  • “You are equipped with spiritual health and strong will power”,
  • “Not many can visualize a dream and achieve it also”,
  • “I would have the privilege to tell to my friends, that a personal friend of mine has done this”,
  • “We are proud of you”,
  • “it is tough, but cake walk for you”,
  • “Fantastic, what a way to do the things man”,
  • “It is honour to know someone like you to look upto” etc.
  • One also read: “Height may make you feel a bit shaky at times, but I know you can reach the top!  With your courage and determination, you can go past all obstacles coming your way, you can do it, you can do it!”
  • Another:

    “Follow your dream…..

    Take one step at a time and don’t settle for less…

    Just continue to climb….

    If you stumble, don’t stop, don’t lose sight of your goal…

    Press to the top, as at the top, we can have a vision to see something new….

    Press on, follow your dream, follow your dream”

These really boosted my spirits, when I needed them the most.  I regained my confidence.  It reminded me of my philosophy which, for a short while I had forgotten, ‘If others can do it, why can’t I”.  These well wishers saved my day and enabled me to move forward with full vigour to make my 50 years old childhood dream come true!

Therefore, let us put in inspiring words wherever possible. Let us not under-estimate the power of our positive words.   They work wonders!!

Experienced and Written By: Badri Baldawa

Edited By : Meeta Kabra

Can We All Be Aarya?

cropped-2013-06-09-11.13.422.jpg

As I was lying down in Natarajasan as a part of my morning Yogasana around 6.15 in the morning, Pushpa got our 10-month old granddaughter Aarya to greet me.  A lovely, fresh Aarya-style broad smile.  The little one came to say hello before she was to leave for a picnic with other family members.

I let my yoga routine be.  As I was getting up, Aarya jumped on me.  She pointed her finger towards my bedroom window and said “yei, yei”, translating to “entertain me near the window”.

My bedroom is on the first floor of our home and looks down on our lush green, house garden.  Shorter plants under tall ashoka trees.  Mornings usually have a continuous flow of flying and chirping birds just 5-10ft away. Occasional, multi-coloured butterflies can be seen enjoying their flights around the greenery.

Aarya had to be taken back quickly as others were almost ready to leave for the picnic.  But to her call of  “yei, yei” and pointed finger at the window, I had to carry her to the window just for a minute or two.  She was happy and I was more than happy; just not for those few moments, but for the next few hours.

It is about 6 hours since she left, and I still have a smile on, as if I am continuing to respond to her lively smile.  She has been on my mind all this time and whatever I did since this morning went well, full of positive results.  I wish everyone is lucky to receive that smile in the morning so that their entire day is peaceful and positive.

As she grows, as she starts to speak, learn, debate and take responsibilities, I wish she continues to speak with me in “yei, yei” language.  I wish she does not get or accept the coating of the layers of ego, pride, complications that we add to our natural and pure soul.

I realise now why a child is considered as a form of God. A child arrives into this world with the purest of pure thoughts, with no bias towards wealth, caste or creed, like God. Only thing they know is “Love Every One”.  I wish Aarya, the noble, remains the same by soul, though would grow in body and mind.

I wish we all could be the same – smile to say “I Love Every One”!

Written: Badri Baldawa on 24.11.2014

Edited : Meeta Kabra