How Reliable is Horoscope Compatibility For Wedding

Posted on February 11, 2016 by badri

My dad’s older brother called, “we have reference for a boy from a well-reputed family in Sangli-Madhavnagar. Bhageerathi’s horoscope matches his, 35 out of the maximum possible 36 aspects (gunas) match.” Bhageerathi was my most beloved younger sister.

The practice of matching horoscope, called ‘kundli milan’, before marriage has been a very integral part of a Hindu marriage.

For kundlis (horoscopes) to match, parents consult an astrologer to assess the zodiac compatibility even before the boy and girl meet each other. A match of atleast 26 aspects/points is considered essential. It is believed, that this matching indicates how well the couple would get along together. Obviously therefore, higher the match count, better and longer are prospects of their happy lives together.

We were all very happy to have found a boy to match 35 out of 36 counts for Bhageerathi. Shortly thereafter, in 1963, they were married. About 2-3 years into the marriage, they were blessed with a daughter. The year after, Bhageerathi passed away in an accident.

This raises a question. Can the tradition of matching horoscopes be trusted?

Sure, in Hindu families reading horoscopes and making decisions based on the radings is a respected and accepted practice. However, the accuracy of the reading depends on exact time of birth. For any reason, if the time of birth is not accurately recorded, the entire horoscope could be incorrect. Further, it is after all an individual who interprets the horoscope. The reading depends on the depth of knowledge of the person preparing and interpreting it.

Certainly something had gone wrong in matching Bhageerathi’s horoscope. Otherwise would she not be able to enjoy a long, married life after a match count of 35 out of 36?

There were instances where a boy and a girl liked and loved each other immensely. When they were to get married, their horoscopes did not match and they were forced to forget each other. There were cases where priority was given to horoscope compatibility rather than personalities. Isn’t it unfair?

Should we deprive those who love each other just because of horoscope readings? Should this tradition be encouraged? Certainly not…………I feel.

Written : Badri Baldawa

Edited : Meeta Kabra

Maayra – Should This Continue?

Posted on December 9, 2014 by badri

I am proud of what I did last week.

My niece (brother’s daughter) was getting married. We have a tradition called ‘Maayra’ in our community where the bride’s maternal uncle (maama) offers valuable gifts to his sister (bride’s mother) and her daughter (bride). This basically is with an intention to contribute towards the wedding expenses.

Taking the bride’s mother in confidence, I approached her brother with a request: “In this marriage, if you approve, we’d like to do away with the tradition of Maayra”

After consulting his family members, maama said that they were fine with that. But in turn, would also like to not have related formalities like ‘Bathhisi’ and ‘Saama Levna’. These are small functions where the sister symbolically invites her brother’s family to the wedding.

Since our side of the family was okay with this, the entire Maayra and related programs were eliminated from the wedding.

Now imagine this. If this maama has 6 sisters and each of the sisters has 2 or 3 children, the maama will have to offer gifts at each of these weddings – let’s say on about 15 occasions. It just does not end there. He will also be a part of the Maayra, though on a smaller scale, at the weddings of each child of each niece as ‘Bad Maayerdar’. Some of the maamas will probably spend a good portion of their lifetime-earnings in Mayraas.

Though this tradition is prevailing since ages, it has become irrelevant in the present time, as the disparity between the rich and the poor has increased widely. In cases where the Maama can afford, they can follow this tradition. But it sets, a keep up with the Joneses syndrome, or an inferiority complex of sorts, for those who cannot afford it financially.

In cases where the Maama cannot afford, he begs, borrows, pledges his jewelry or property just to fulfill this tradition. Rates of interest for such borrowings are normally so high that he is sure to be doomed under the burden of paying just the interest.

Is this a fair tradition in the present day situation?

I feel proud that all the Maayra formalities were eliminated atleast in this wedding. I wish others are inspired and follow similar steps for reform in Society.

My dad’s older brother called, “we have reference for a boy from a well-reputed family in Sangli-Madhavnagar. Bhageerathi’s horoscope matches his, 35 out of the maximum possible 36 aspects (gunas) match.” Bhageerathi was my most beloved younger sister.

The practice of matching horoscope, called ‘kundli milan’, before marriage has been a very integral part of a Hindu marriage.

We were all very happy to have found a boy to match 35 out of 36 counts for Bhageerathi. Shortly thereafter, in 1963, they were married. About 2-3 years into the marriage, they were blessed with a daughter. The year after, Bhageerathi passed away in an accident.

This raises a question. Can the tradition of matching horoscopes be trusted?

Certainly something had gone wrong in matching Bhageerathi’s horoscope. Otherwise would she not be able to enjoy a long, married life after a match count of 35 out of 36?

Should we deprive those who love each other just because of horoscope readings? Should this tradition be encouraged? Certainly not…………I feel.

Written : Badri Baldawa

Edited : Meeta Kabra

Today, the conversation with a birthday boy or girl would go something like:

Me: “Did your grandmother and uncle call you to wish you on birthday?”

Child: “No, you know. How bad. How sad. They did not call me.”

Me: “Then, did you call them up?”

Child: “If they don’t care to call me, why should I?”

Cultural values are changing fast!

Written : Badri Baldawa

Edited : Meeta Kabra

Writer : Badri Baldawa

Editor : Meeta Kabra